


The Vegan Vampire

by baeberiibungh



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: A lil self esteem issues, AU, Confessions, Cracky, Dating, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Snark, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 18:19:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8411683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeberiibungh/pseuds/baeberiibungh
Summary: Stiles stumbles across an old denizen of the Hale grounds…





	

“That goddamn fucker,” Stiles mutters angrily just before stumbling over an exposed root in the forest floor. He aims a kick back halfheartedly more in exasperation rather than in anger. “Fucker!” he says with more feeling this time as he comes to standstill, hands curled into fists and his face heated up both in anger and embarrassment. 

Stiles knows Peter has a cruel streak a mile long. More even. But he enjoys that wit too, that surefire reply to whatever Stiles can dish out. And without restrictions, without thinking about how the words may come across to another, Stiles can really give it. It is a thing that both bond in as a pack. But somedays, as good Stiles is at sarcasm, he is still a goddamn teenager and as good as he is at letting stuff roll over his shoulder, Peter just knows to dig the knife cruelly deeper.

They had been talking about the case, about a coven of witches who were making too powerful love potions that were leaving the victims dead. All the power couples had been there – Allison and Kira and Scott, Isaac and Danny, Jackson and Lydia, Erica and Boyd, Liam and Mason. And there had been Derek standing with his bitch face that Stiles maybe wanted to kinda lick all over and skinny unlikeable Stiles in a corner and somehow the whole conversation turned into Stiles still being alone and an implied pathetic loser.

Stiles had been nodding along and making jokes and trying to get the pack off the whole topic when Peter had sauntered in and gave a zinger that had silenced Stiles in a bit. It was nothing extreme, but those words from someone Stiles was coming to view as a near friend and the things said had been too much and he had run out of the loft to his name been hailed by Scott and Derek alike. And here he was, all alone in the middle of a fucking jungle because he could not bear a few words. He was both feeling mad and sad and didn’t particularly wanted to be anywhere at the moment.

He kicked at a small bush again, the toe of his shoe whistling through the leaves when a clearing throat behind him make him scream out in a high pitch voice and fall down at the same time, as he tried to maneuver himself to his back. There, clearly standing in a patch of moonlight stood an old dude in a santaesque robe, with tight curly white hair and big pointy teeth. The teeth were splayed in a very harmless looking smile and the man, Stiles was not sure if he was 80 or 800 years old, merely stood there, his hands clasped behind his back, as if teenagers falling around him were a very normal thing.

“You must be one of the Hale young ones. You smell like that. Sad thing the fire, I wish I had been around at the time, I would have been able to help you see,” the man said. Then he bowed and put one hand out, sharp claws gleaming in the night, to help Stiles up. Stiles gulped once or twice and then took hold of the man’s hand and help to stand up. He shivered once the hand left his hand. The other man was as cold as a corpse. 

“Um, yeah. Yeah, I am. Very much under their protection you know. Like if I go missing they will be mad and come looking. I am very important to the pack,” Stiles said, trying to bring up a bit of bluster to his voice.

“Oh dear, you don’t have to worry about me. I am completely vegetarian,” the man supplied with a wave of his hands.

“Vegetarian? Like what implies vegetarian to a vampire?” Stiles asked this time, intrigued.

“Oh, you are a quick one. Yes, I am a vampire. And I am a vegetarian. I only eat fruits and bark and sap and a few insects here and there. I have an old standing with the Hale Pack. I keep to their lands and do not hunt any animal, and they do not run me out of my home. My name is Victor by the way. I used to have a seal and all that, but animals are not the sort that get impressed with things like that and I absolutely hate to be encumbered by anything too heavy than my hanky and a fork in my pockets,” Victor said.

Stiles looked at Victor, the night barely less dark than his skin, his white teeth that looked inviting inspite of being so big, his hair, which he now noted had vines rolled around like streamers and his robe, making Victor look like some kind of old and kind uncle who always had candies in pockets and stories on lips. As prone to being cynical as usual Stiles was, he could not get one whiff of bad vibe from Victor. So he walked in step to Victor and started asking him questions.

“Where do you live here? Do you like transform into a bat and go inside a cave to hang upside down? Is you bat human sized like man – bat or like a snuffly little bat that I can carry in my pocket? Do you not need blood, or do you not like the taste or do you just don’t want to kill? Do you know Derek and Peter Hale? Have you met them? Did you know Talia Hale? Do you have hypnosis power, like just tell me to go to sleep and I will fall asleep? Do you…” Stiles rattled on.

“Go to sleep!” Victor shouted out suddenly to stem the avalanche of questions. 

Stiles went quite as he waited to fall asleep. Nothing of the short happened and Stiles gave a big laugh at that and said, “Dude, I almost fell for that. Good one man.”

“Don’t call him man, he is much older that you,” said Derek, appearing from thin air two feet to his right so that Stiles screamed again and fell down. This time Derek hauled him upright and brushed off old twigs and leaves. “Victor,” Derek addressed the man with a nod.

“What the hell man!? You almost scared me to death. How would you have felt if I had just fell over with a heart attack with my tongue lolling cause you don’t know how to walk normally, huh, Derek, Tell me!” Stiles fumed.

Derek merely rolled his eyes, hands still cleaning up Stiles and turned to talk to Victor. He said, “I have been meaning to come to you. Is there anything you need from the store? Peter said he would come by but I know he hasn’t been yet.”

“I have enough amenities to last me another week. Also, the garden has been blooming most excellently this time of the year so food has been ample. Bring this young lad by someday to drink my poppy juice. I am sure he will love it,” Victor said amicably.

“I don’t think he can yet,” Derek said, making Stiles quack in outrage. “I have to take this one home now, he has got school tomorrow. See you around Victor,” Derek added before pulling Stiles away in a strong grip. Stiles turned around stumbling and called out, “My name is Stiles Victor, will visit you again. Byeee.”

“Goodbye Stiles,” Victor called out from the depth of the jungle as Derek did not lessen his grip.

“Der, Derek, you have a fucking vampire living in your ground, a vegetarian vampire to boot and you never told me, how the fuck. This is not information you keep away you galoot,” Stiles admonished him in a serious tone.

“Don’t disturb Victor Stiles, he is centuries old and he likes the silence,” Derek told him.

“I wasn’t gonna annoy him or anything,” Stiles replied mulishly. 

“Why did you switch your mobile off? Scott beat the shit out of Peter and no one stopped him. Don’t just leave like that to disappear,” Derek said.

“Wha… O. Oh. I forgot after meeting Victor. And serves Peter right. Although what he said was not a lie…” Stiles said in a more subdued tone.

“Forget what Peter said. You don’t need potions to make people like you,” Derek said with a frown.

“Hah. Yeah says you and the long line of aspirants waiting to date me. C’mon man, I am not what someone would label a desirable catch,” Stiles said.

“You are a very desirable catch,” Derek ground out in a way that made Stiles sure that he was speaking through his teeth.

“O yeah? Gonna date me then Derek? Since I am all that desirable and shit, huh?”Stiles taunted, only to walk slack jawed because Derek said, “Yes I will date you.”

Before Stiles could tell Derek to cut it off and not joke with him like that, Derek pulled him up to himself to plant a soft and quick kiss on his lips before resuming walking again. Stiles only kept staring and once both reached the jeep, Derek kissed him again and said, with an audible laugh in his voice, “I am going to date you so hard Stiles Stilinski, you will never want to date anyone else again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feels like i forgot to write, this felt like a pure load of piss soaked mess. Thank you for reading nonetheless. Kudos and comments pleaseeeeeeeeeeee!!!!


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